


Coming out

by Autisticpunk13



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Les Amis de l'ABC, Coming Out, Courfeyrac (Les Misérables) is a Good Friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, I'm Bad At Tagging, Non-Binary Jean Prouvaire, Nonbinary Character, Not Beta Read, Other, Religious Conflict, Self-Indulgent, Trans Courfeyrac, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autisticpunk13/pseuds/Autisticpunk13
Summary: Hey, Jehan, can I come in?" The hall was silent, save the sniffles from Jehan's apartment. I really only noticed they were crying because I live right next to them, and this building has been cursed with paper-thin walls.
Relationships: Courfeyrac & Jean Prouvaire
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Coming out

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so, this does have a lot of transphobic and homophobic language, as Jehan and Courf are literally just discussing their coming-out stories. There's also religious transphobia and bad reality tv, and bonding over having terrible parents. And Jehan cries a lot. You have been warned lol. 
> 
> This is literally just me projecting and being sad because my parents are transphobic ok.

I knocked gently on their door. 

"Hey, Jehan, can I come in?" The hall was silent, save the sniffles from Jehan's apartment. I really only noticed they were crying because I live right next to them, and this building has been cursed with paper-thin walls. 

"I just wanna make sure you're okay, please?" I knew Jehan. We had started out just being neighbors, but eventually we had become a bit closer. We had a few common interests, and we had some mutual friends. They'd even let me sleep on their couch when I'd lost the keys to my apartment. I considered them a friend, and a close one at that. Recently, I'd been finding any excuse to hang out with them or get close to them. They're interesting, and I am very affectionate with my friends, so it's normal, I suppose. But that was pushed to the back of mind when the door handle finally moved

The door creaked open, and I was greeted with Jehan's puffy, tearstained face. My heart broke a little.

"You heard me crying, didn't you?" I nodded, moving slowly past the doorway. 

Putting my hand gently on their shoulder, I guided Jehan to the couch. 

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Jehan. What's wrong?" They went silent for a minute, wiping their eyes with the sleeve of their sweater. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, you know? I can distract you if that'll make you feel better, we can watch a movie?" 

They sighed and brushed their hair out of their face. "I just don't want to bother you, Courf." They paused, and went to stand up. "I'm gonna make myself some tea, do you want any?" 

"Yeah, here, no, stay, just stay here, I'll make some. What kind do you want?" I touched their arm, silently imploring them to let me do this. 

"I don't really care." I stood up, and was almost to the small kitchen when they spoke up. 

"I came out to my dad." I turned around almost instantly, facing them as they gathered their strength. 

"I...I told my dad that I was nonbinary, and that I'd like him to call me Jehan and use they/them." They sniffled again, and continued. "He was quiet for a minute, and I was scared of what he'd say. I didn't know if he would take it well in the first place, but I figured it was time to tell him. I mean, I've been out for almost three years now." I nodded, moving back to the couch. 

"I could hear him breathe in deeply over the phone, and then he just started yelling at me. He kept saying that I was going to hell, and that I was no child of his, and that he was disappointed in me. He...he told me that I was no son of his anymore, and that he never wanted to see me again and. ..and he said that I'm a disgrace and he should have never had me." Jehan broke down again, and I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into my chest. 

Crying into my shirt, they mumbled unintelligibly. When I didn't respond, they moved their head up from my chest. 

"He disowned me, Courf." They barely choked out. "He said that I'm dead to him." I hugged them tighter, and opened my mouth to comfort them. But they continued, "and I know the rest of my family is going to agree with him. I'm never gonna see any of them. I'm dead, in their eyes." Balling their fists in my shirt, they let out another sob. "I don't have any family anymore." The crying worsened, and I just sat and held them close, running a hand through their hair until they calmed. 

When the last of their tears fell, I opened my mouth. 

"Hey, hey, I'm right here. I'm sorry they're too transphobic to see how wonderful you truly are. They had an idea of you in their heads, and that's what they loved. They loved the idea of their perfect son. But you're not that. You are a kind, poetic soul and I wish that they could see how much happier you are now." I move slightly, as they lay their head on my chest, tears still quietly falling. "I know how it feels when people you love don't understand, or refuse to understand, but there are people who love the real you, Jehan. I'm here for you, and so are all of our friends."

I pause. "In fact, we might have to keep this from Enjolras, unless you want him to call up your dad and give him a college lecture on nonbinary rights and the science of gender or something. " Jehan giggles a little, at the thought of Enjolras chewing out their dad, complete with peer-reviewed sources. "I mean, there's nothing Enjy loves more than giving impassioned speeches, especially if it's on behalf of a friend. He'll jump at the opportunity, probably have a binder full of scientific evidence supporting trans people. It would be a sight to see." 

"It would." Jehan says, wiping the last of the tears away, leaning across me to grab the remote. "Wanna watch terrible reality TV and pretend this never happened?" I nod again, as we both move the face the tv, our legs touching. 

"Hey, if that's how you cope I'm not stopping you. Just let me make that tea first." 

A cup of tea and several episodes later, they're a bit happier, and that's better than nothing. Before our fifth episode of Real Housewives starts, Jehan pauses it and turns to me. 

"When you said you know how it feels when people you love don't support you, did...did your family react like….that?"

I sighed. 

"The first time I came out to my parents, I was 17. I told them that I was bi, and I had a girlfriend. That's when I still thought I was a cis girl. They flipped out. They went through my phone, my journal, and my computer, blocked all of my friends, and then grounded me. They banned me from seeing my girlfriend ever again, and told me that I was grounded 'until this gay nonsense stops.'" I didn't listen, and snuck out a few times to see my girlfriend. Unfortunately, one night they caught her sneaking me back in. They took away all of my stuff, and told me that God was going to smite me down if I didn't stop." I paused, holding myself together. "I spent my 18th birthday in church, with my pastor and my parents 'praying the gay away'. Clearly, it didn't work, but I went back in the closet until I left the house, for my own safety." I fiddled with the hem of my shirt.

"When I went to college, I purposely chose one that was out-of-state, so I could be myself without them. I got a job, and filled out so many scholarships, just so I could pay for cool without them having something they could take away." I catch my breath, and look out the window. It was late afternoon when I'd come in, around 5, but the sky was darkening and my watch read 8:24.

"My junior year of college, I came out to them over text, and told them my new name and pronouns. My mom called me later that day while I was at work, and left at least 4 messages all saying that I was their daughter, and I was being 'mislead by Satan'. I blocked her number, my dad's number, and my grandpa's number too, after he called as well. I haven't talked to them since. It's been about 4 years." Jehan grabbed my hand and squeezed it. 

"I'm really sorry man." Jehan looked down, squeezing my hand harder. "Why can't people just….let us live. Why can't they just understand?" I sigh, agreeing. 

"It sucks, but y'know, if I hadn't done that, I would have never met Combeferre or any of my other friends, and would have never gotten my kick-ass job, and I never would have met you. So I'm glad that happened, because it led me here." I stop for a minute. "And also I wouldn't be this hot if I were cis, just saying. I'm a fuckin hot dude." We laughed at that, and Jehan started the episode, still holding my hand, for support, I think. Whether it was for his support or mine, I don't know. 

After a few more episodes, it was getting late, and I could tell Jehan was tired. As the credits rolled, I stood up and went to leave. 

"Where are you going?" Jehan yawned.

"It's like… almost 11, Jehan, I've got work tomorrow. I'm going to bed, and you should too." They looked at their phone. 

"Shit it is. I didn't mean to keep you this late, Courf, sorry." They stood up, facing me as I put away the mugs. They opened their mouth, then closed it, as if they wanted to say something but decided against it. Then they spoke up, as I opened the door. 

"Can you stay here tonight?" They said, almost pleading. "If it's not, like, a problem with you, I just..I just don't want to be alone right now." I closed the door, moving my hand from the handle. 

"Yeah, of course, I can stay. I'll just sleep on the couch again, you do have a very comfy couch." I looked at them, making sure that was okay. I didn't really want to leave anyway, even though I wouldn't admit that to myself. "Besides, your bedroom's just right over there, anyway, so I'll be close by."

They nodded. "yeah, yeah that's fine. Thanks, Courf." They looked around. "I'll get you a blanket." They muttered, running into their room, and emerging with a thick, knitted blue blanket. 

"Thanks." I grabbed it, pulling it over myself. 

"Are you really gonna sleep in jeans, dude?" I looked down at my pants. 

"I mean, I guess I could go to my apartment and get a pair of pants. And take my binder off." 

"No, you can borrow something of mine, I'm sure I've got something that'll fit you. " With that, they went back in their room, and I listened to them rummage around their room as I took my shirt off, then my binder. 

As I was wrestling my binder off, Jehan reemerged, yellow sweatpants in hand.

"Don't look! I'm not decent, Jehan!" Jehan looked away, rolling their eyes. 

"Courf. Just take the pants." They tossed the pants at me as soon as I'd managed to release myself from my binder, and I pulled them on. "It's not like I've accidentally walked into your apartment while you're just hanging out in just your boxers. I think I'll survive seeing your binder." 

"That was one time!! I usually wear shirts at home, you just came in at a bad time!" 

"Sure dude, sure. I'm going to bed." They left, leaving the door open. I turned the lights off and tried to sleep. I tossed and turned for hours, but I couldn't sleep. I almost got up, figuring that this night's sleep was a lost cause, when Jehan's voice called. 

"Courf, are you awake?" They asked, sluggish and tired. 

"Yeah, why?" 

"I can't sleep. Can you….do you mind just coming in here?" I move slowly towards their room, rubbing my eyes. 

"What's the matter, Jehan?" They sat up, lethargic. 

"I can't sleep." They adjusted the pillows around them. "Do you think you could sleep next to me? I just really don't wanna sleep alone right now." I nod, moving to the bed. It couldn't hurt, could it? And maybe I'd actually get some sleep in a real bed. Also, I just can't say no to Jehan. 

"Yeah, that's fine." I moved under the covers slowly, until I was a few inches away from Jehan. 

"Thanks." They hummed contentedly, pulling a pillow close to them. They looked peaceful, as I glanced at their sleeping face. They have oddly long eyelashes, and a few faint freckles spattered across their cheeks and nose. Their hair fell across their face, and I went to move it unthinkingly, before I stopped myself. 

Soon enough, I was asleep, glad I'd stayed. Glad I'd come over to check on them in the first place.


End file.
